I've noticed that the more sternly I speak to my kids — for example, after they've run into the street without looking — the more distraught they get. How can I make sure they understand the seriousness of certain situations without making them feel worse? As the saying goes, "Desperate times call for desperate measures." When your child's safety is at risk — whether he's run into the street, reached for an open flame, or gotten dangerously close to a pool — yelling, screaming, or crying out is a perfectly normal (and necessary!) response. After all, at that moment, you would do anything possible to get your child's attention and get him out of harm's way. After an episode like this, it's natural for kids to cry — and for you to want to apologize. But the truth is, your kids are likely crying in response to the fear and urgency in your voice, not because you've been "too stern." At times like these, it's OK to comfort them without
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